Every kick is a boost. God I love my life. It’s mine. Everything about it is mine, to do with as I please. Every single thing.
So I was thinking about my families, wishing I could blend them together. I’ve marveled at Joy’s families. She has four parents and mulitple inlaws, etc. And she tries to manage them all. Managing people, family members, ha! I’ve tried that without success. I got to thinking about my younger daughter. I’ve tried to manage her. Most recently I’ve been trying to figure out how to ask her to invite Joy to her college graduation.
Because I think Joy would like to be invited, to be included, to get to know her younger sister better. But it’s Ezzy’s graduation. And Ezzy and I haven’t been talking much lately. I don’t know if it’s just that she’s found a greater sense of security in her current living situation. Or does it relate in some direct way to the new perspective she has on me after reading my blog, my self absorption?
What I realized this morning is that I’ve been wanting to manage Ezzy, to get her to do something for me, to invite Joy into her life. It’s for me, for Joy. I’ve been ignoring Ezzy herself. How does she feel? How does it feel to have a sister that you barely know? A relative stranger…
It ALL takes time. And I want it now. NOW.
It is Now. It is eternity. Holding.
And now, via Sister Sledge:
We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up ev’rybody and sing
Ev’ryone can see we’re together
As we walk on by
(FLY!) and we fly just like birds of a feather
I won’t tell no lie
(ALL!) all of the people around us they say
Can they be that close
Just let me state for the record
We’re giving love in a family dose