It’s vacation time and Buster is home for a couple weeks. Last night we were eating a great salad with some pitas and roasted red pepper hummus and some leftover lamb kebabs, just the two of us. I reminded him of how he helped me find the portrait of my grandma a couple summers ago and we lugged it around town trying to get it copied for Joy. And I told him that six months later when I completed that project, and sent it to her, that she was really happy about it! He smiled so big. He’s got a smile that really lights up a room. He said, “See, that wasn’t so hard. I mean it was a little bit hard. But not much.”

The hard part is dealing with my emotions.

I said, “Remember years ago when I told you the worst thing that ever happened to me was ‘when I put her up for adoption’? Well the next worst thing was finding out that was the worst thing that ever happened to her too.”

Then I started talking about Tomtom, my grandson, and how he and Buster have some similar expressions and interests. I told him about Tomtom’s painting and Joy’s parenting. Buster liked what he heard. He’s pleased to hear how she is loving and caring for Tomtom. I got a little carried away, the way grandmother’s are prone to do.

It was really easy, this long awaited event, bringing my family together in baby steps. So much of how they see each other is dependent on how I see myself and how I see them.

Lyrics for: Respect Yourself
if you disrespect anybody that you run in to
how in the world do you think anybody’s s’posed to respect you
if you don’t give a heck ’bout the man with the bible in his hand
just get out the way, and let the gentleman do his thing
you the kind of gentleman that want everything your way
take the sheet off your face, boy, it’s a brand new day
respect yourself, respect yourself
if you don’t respect yourself
ain’t nobody gonna give a good cahoot, na na na na
respect yourself, respect yourself
if you’re walking ’round think’n that the world owes you something
‘Cause you’re here
You goin’ out the world backwards like you did when you first come here Keep talkin’ bout the president, won’t stop air pollution
Put your hand on your mouth when you cough, that’ll help the solution
Oh, you cuss around women and you don’t even know their names
Then you’re dumb enough to think that’ll make you a big ol manwritten by Luther Ingram and Mack Rice

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