That was a big one. I don’t think I’ve ever been so tired, literally shaking when I tried to stand still before I was even halfway down. It feel so good to have done it.
Ezzy and I arrived Tuesday before noon. Last I had talked to Joy she said she thought she would come up after work that day. I was looking for her, leaving messages, wondering how she was doing, expecting that she was pulled in different directions and would show up in her own timing.
It was tempting to wait by the campsite or the phone to make sure Joy could find us instead of relaxing and enjoying myself. That was interesting to watch. Joy told us someone else had said if I wanted her there on Tuesday I should have told her to arrive on Sunday. I knew that. He knew I knew that. It reminds me of my ‘stand’ about control. I would have really liked her to be there that first night. That’s me. What I want even more is for her to get there when SHE gets there. She knew when I was going to be there. How much time she actually wanted to spend with me and Ezzy was up to her. My impulse to cram as much time together as possible isn’t necessarily right. It’s just my desire.
There was actually not all that much time that the three of us were together, what with me and Ezzy hiking the entire next day. And when I got back my exhaustion was disinhibiting. It was such a wonder to simultaneously experience these two daughters that both amaze and exasperate me at times . Yes there were peals of laughter when Ezzy was offered the cheese plate so gently and graciously by Joy. The night before I had confused smears of roasted marshmallow with Ezzy’s nose ring, to her annoyance. But here she and Joy were confronting their idiosyncracies with grace and appreciation for each other rather than the annoyance that is so common with my not so gentle nudges towards better manners. I really felt in the middle between Ezzy reaching across the table and Joy’s lovely cheeses on a china plate.
A delicious plate of bleu, brie and avacado slices with yummy seeded sourdough bread had never tasted more delicious. It was made more rich by the sharing of my daughters laughing and talking together.
The next morning we dallied over breakfast and broke camp and shared more stories and experiences before driving off in our separate directions. And it really was just right I think, a mixture of sweet and salty. The picture is of a snow plant as seen on the trail…