Dear Abby

I’ve read these advice columns all my life. My first questions about sex sprang from reading about unwed mothers in Ann Landers when I was in fourth grade. “If God planted a baby in someone’s stomach, how could it be a mistake?” Oh, well it’s all about how God did that planting. Hmmmmm….

This morning Jeanne Phillips aka the new Dear Abby had a fabulous response to a want to be Grandma. If Dear Abby can get it for grandparents it fosters hope that caring and nurturing children can be viewed as an ever present option. If you love children, if you have so much to give, there are children all around! There are SO many children in need of loving. You can add to that child’s life without taking anything away. If you really love a child, wouldn’t you want that child to have it’s mother and family? You don’t have to get the title to them in order to love them. Children don’t really belong to anyone but themselves. Another quote I remember from my own mother’s bookshelf,

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself
.” Kahlil Gibran

Life/God put children with specific mothers. That’s how they get born. To paraphrase an old religious ceremony, “Let not man put that asunder.”

We as humans do sunder our relationships with our children at times. Some, who have not grown fully and wholly, have abused children emotionally or physically. In some cases it is appropriate for society to step in to insure that children are in safe and loving homes. I do ask that we look carefully though that we are not the ones to separate a child from its family, that we only step in to fill the gaps. Too often desire creates the gaps. Examine our desires. Distinguish desire from loving. Desire is wanting.  Succumbing to ‘needing’ can turn to grasping. Loving is an expression, an outflow, giving.

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