Life is not a mistake

The Passionate Peach gave me a fresh look at the Palin family’s issue, adoptee feelings and at myself.  Many adoptees have taken the judgment of a young woman’s unplanned pregnancy against themselves.  That had never connected for me before.  I’ve been so caught up in my own issues, sense of guilt, to see how my beautiful child could ever be viewed as a mistake.  I remember trying to explain to her that she is gorgeous, a thing of beauty and value beyond description.  I was so enveloped in wonder of her that I missed her childish perception.
I finally see it. Thank you Improper Adoptee.  She grew up hearing about young women that have made a mistake and made the logical conclusion that she was the result of my ‘mistake’, therefore the evidence of my ‘mistake’, therefore she was a ‘mistake’.  Mistakes have been made, that’s for sure.  I make them every day.
But I see that thinking and speaking of babies and giving birth ‘out of wedlock’ or ‘too young’ as a ‘mistake’ is a fundamental error that supports the adoption industry.
People talk about young women ‘missing out’ on the joys of adolescence; going to the mall, parties, sports, yada, yada, yada.
In my adolescence that stuff was small potatoes compared to the joy I lost in relinquishing my daughter.  I remember being invited out when I was ‘barely showing’.  “Come on, let’s go out.  It’ll be fun.”  Really not so much.  I was happy at home.  I would have continued to be happy at home if I’d  had my baby with me.

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