I started blogging to tell my story; as a way to loosen the stuckness inside me. Self judgment about aspects of my experiences choked me. Reading other people’s stories, mainly the ones of loss, helped to accept mine. It was easier recognizing that I was not alone.
I became addicted to frequent bloggers. Reading their stories revealed parts of me that were secreted, more forsaken than forgotten.
Each telling is a little different. Different audience responses changed the way I saw it. I love a compassionate listener. A hostile witness still gives another perspective, more to consider. I get excited in anticipation of a new response.
Gradually the repetition of my and other’s stories and cycles has become familiar, less terrifying. I know some things come and go, like ocean waves and weather patterns. There are times to batten down the hatches. There are times to re examine the story lines and how they serve or don’t serve me. What I think today will affect what I do today and tomorrow. In consideration of all the “little” lies we tell ourselves I read Better living through self deception today. Food for thought.
I put a high value on honesty. I’m known to say what I think. Sometimes it’s better to keep my mouth shut. I’m still working on that. Sometimes I’ve held in too much. Other times I’ve blurted and hurt. It may be a little known fact, but I’m very funny. My sense of humor gets me through life more than any thing. Unfortunately it’s often lost in translation. Another reason to keep my mouth shut.
Another thing that gets me through are wonderful songs. And trust…
“Security lies in the inner awareness that there is no security.” – John-Roger. The Tao of Spirit