Revisiting

Ezzy and I were talking about Joy a lot the past few days as I was visiting both of them.  One thing I’ve learned about both Ezzy and her father is not to press, not to ask too much that could be construed as a demand.  They are great trainers that way, training me to sit in my own experience, speak from my own experience.  I’m learning to rely on my perceptions and express what’s going on with me.  They’ll contribute more when I demand less and just make an opening for them.

I shared that I didn’t really know what Ezzy thought when she learned I had given my first baby away.  I had worried that she would be afraid that I was unreliable as a mother.  She was 5 when I first told her.  At 24, she remembered being interested in having more family and that having a sister with a baby was a two fer!  I missed that at the time, because I was so freaked out about my fears and worries that I wasn’t paying real attention to real people.

A sweet highlight of our recent visit was having dinner at the restaurant Ezzy works at and introducing Joy as her sister.  Such a simple casual thing.  The food and the people were good.

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