Today’s horoscope by Jacqueline Bigar says, “A red flag pops, and you know to back off.  Use your sixth sense when dealing with partners. Reach out for those at a distance, an look to the bigger picture. Ask for help. Ask for advice.”

I’m asking for help and advice.  I don’t know how good I am at taking it.  I just know I’m not doing much good on my own.


3 responses to “Help

  1. Take a week vacation together – just the 2 of you. Commit to it being about loving each other and doting on one other. Forget everyone else and just LOVE each other. Go somewhere where you will be drawn into the events or culture around you where you don’t have tons of down time when you’re tempted to bring up all of the “stuff” that comes with the more difficult issues. Or go somewhere peaceful and agree to agree for a week.

    Advice from someone who has been in a fairly quiet relationship with her son for a short 3-4 years (depending on how you want to slice it) and I don’t know anything about what it is like to be in your shoes or Joy’s – so take it with a grain of salt. At the same time, I hope that 20 years down the line my son and I are talking honestly about some of the deeper issues that effect both of us, like you and Joy seem to do, and I hope that the serious stuff can be interspersed with good memories.

    I guess I don’t have a clue in hell, I just want you two to recognize the work that you’ve put into the relationship (from an outsider’s perspective) and celebrate it.

    I did freak out once and call Verrier. I don’t know how much good it did; I pretty much agreed with everything that she said. Whatever, try some different roads. If you’re both willing I imagine you will come up with some solutions to help you through the next 20 years – or whatever it’s been. Right now, I’m just hoping that my son will talk to me in some meaningful way over the coming years. There are no guarantees.

    I read your blog and Joy’s because I consider the fact that the two of you are in contact on a fairly regular basis and willing to share to be rare and successful. And because you are both talented writers.

    I wish you both the best!

  2. I like Carol’s suggestion of taking a vacation together. You’ll be on neutral territory and won’t have to worry about other family obligations or interferences. Have fun, take in the surroundings, and just enjoy some private time together.

  3. A vacation.
    That sounds fresh and new and a little scary. I would like that.

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