Exploring damages and recovery. I do not have the graciousness to take her sensitivity into consideration a lot of the time. My own hurt feelings get in my way. She couldn’t conceive of me being so powerless. In her mind I was her mother, a powerful figure. I represented power to her. I blew it. She’s been reminding me of her former lover’s opinion that my blog is an act of aggression, softening it today as only partially a desire to “counter” her view. This is a very rich topic. IRL I question her view often because I see things so differently. Mothers do that. They see things differently than their children do. That can be either good or bad, another rich topic. I think online aggression would be using words perceived as rejecting, isolating or blaming. I must admit to all of that. I have not always been inclusive. I have not always seen my responsibilities. In fact that is part of the reason I blog. It’s a way to learn, to open up my blind spots. Sometimes I see things differently simply because I’ve said them. Sometimes words are perceived differently than they were intended. I appreciate getting comments that help me see things from other angles. We want to be accepted and included and we’re both triggered easily by hints of blame or rejection. DD has active relationships with her peers online and I am grateful she gets support from them. I am terrifically impressed with her SH’s tender practicality when she is stressed. One of the outcomes I aspire to in blogging is to clear up our misunderstandings, especially the ones inside me, so that I can be more sensitive and gracious to my beloved DD.