I want to be so grounded in who I am that I can cooperate with whatever comes my way. I want to be able to be knocked over like this Tweety Bird Bop Bag and bounce back up singing.

I’m feeling sorry that Margie seems down for the count right now. It brings into perspective the hard times we people have trying to get along. Can’t we just get along? Shoot, sometimes time I barely get along with myself.

Volunteering at a local garden for nearly 7 years,  I’ve watched a number of volunteers get burned and burned out. One of our most valued members quit a couple weeks ago. She had been driving 1 1/2 hours round trip twice a week to nurture new plants for the garden and for sale to raise funds for the garden. She did a fabulous job in the greenhouse. But her feelings got hurt. She felt dissed by people working in other areas of the garden and she quit! She left her team of 10-15 people learning her propagation techniques on their own.  She has a wealth of knowledge that can’t be easily replaced and I really don’t understand walking away from all she had started.

As a fledgling organization we recently opened a gift shop in hopes of raising funds for more planting and more educational programs.  The first two people heading up the shop got their feelings hurt and quit without notice. I’ve got no bznz experience and my last retail job lasted 3 months in 1969. But I stepped in as temporary shopkeeper. I asked the volunteer coordinator to find a replacement for me asap. It took almost a year. During that time I kept the administration informed that I was going to leave, but I wasn’t going to leave in a huff.

I lean into things. I let people know when I’m dissatisfied and make plans for transitions as much as possible. When the replacement gift shop manager was found I was thrilled.  I gave her my number, my email, my files and offered to meet with her weekly as long as she wanted and walked away happily. She quit after a  month.

I guess that’s what people do.

Maybe I’m the kind of person that inspires people to sing, “How can I miss you when you won’t go away?”

Maybe this is the good side of stubborn?

Blogs are written by different people for different purposes. I think I remember Margie feeling ambivalent about her blog for the past season. I wonder if the woman that headed up propagation was weary of the work load she was carrying and the last misunderstanding was just a good excuse to walk away. I’ve pulled away from my very personal blog for very personal reasons at times.  Mostly I was just struck dumb with fear that what I had  to say hurts my DD. Or maybe I was feeling like I just didn’t have anything of merit to say.

What am I doing speculating about why Margie closed her blog? Why does anyone close down? What business is it of mine? I don’t feel like I knew her well enough to ask her. But I knew her blog well enough to feel it’s a loss to many people. It’s loss is to much more than me.  I do want to say THANK YOU MARGIE for the time you blogged. I’ll send that out to the universe and that will have to do.

And a little quote from a young celebrated adoptee, “People need to persevere around this town!”

Perfection may not be available. The paradox is still going for it.

The best I can end up with is excellence, and excellence in loving is good enough for me.


14 responses to “Resilience

  1. I told Madison that you quoted her here and little bit about your story and she said, “I’m glad I could help. Hey, I’m just like Frasier because I help people!” So I had to share that!

  2. Margie will be missed. But she has earned any time off that she chooses to take – whether it’s a brief hiatus or the rest of her life. The rest of us will step up, until it is our turn to take a break.

    • Absolutely. There are lots of ways to keep going. We don’t really have any choice but to go on anyway.

  3. Her blog isn’t really closed down.

  4. Mirah put up a lot of fun and interesting stuff lately too. Smart lady.

    Just seems like some were feeling extra sensitive and blew up on themselves.

    Sometimes we get so frustrated we need some time away from learning before we’re ready to go on to the next thing.

    We’re all learning to cooperate; learning to let each other have their own experiences, different points of view. We win when we have the flexibility to learn from each other.

  5. Mother’s Day will bring out the irrational in some, I totally get that.
    Best not to take sides and I didn’t but I read some things that meant there was no going back to my rosy view that I’d thought was real before.

    • I’m guessing you mean not feeling as safe with others as you used to? That can be a sad feeling.

      I’m glad you’re here KimKim. Take care.

  6. Margie will indeed be missed by many. Love the quote by Dawn’s daughter- so sweet and strong!

  7. “. . . just a good excuse to walk away”
    Do you mean rather than a “last straw”?

  8. I stopped feeling safe after I closed my blog and all the people that I thought were friends were all over the blog I’d had a blog drama with telling her how awesome she was…
    Safety isn’t such a big deal. I rather not invest too much emotion in something that isn’t solid.
    Twice now I’ve had people invite me to come and stay at their house and then those same people stopped being my friend on the internet…

    I did say that I don’t feel safe with Margie anymore but that’s because she was really hard about something and I didn’t expect that from her. She’s still worth loving and being friends with. I just won’t get in close but that’s my choice.
    I’m sure a lot of people don’t feel safe with me either and that’s ok too. Doesn’t make me bad, doesn’t make the people who I thought were friends and turned out to not be bad either. Just makes them not worth investing emotional energy into.

    And yes we absolutely win when we have the flexibility to learn from each other.

    I’m trying out being more flexible in real life and I find that to be very handy indeed.

    Thank you for being so welcoming J. I appreciate that.

  9. That blog is maybe not being used at the moment but she has another blog now. So nobody is gone, it’s just at a different url.
    I’m glad that the drama didn’t get so far that someone felt they couldn’t blog here anymore. I know how that feels.

  10. I didn’t see this, J, until today. I’m clearly not keeping up with much of anything online. I appreciate this.

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