taking chances

I’ve been impressed with the importance of showing up lately.  Just show up and see what you can do.  Issycat wrote about reunion-eggshells-and-the-loselose and it provoked some thoughts in my mind that I felt might not be taken well. So I brought them over here. It reminded me of Joy’s and my last face to face. which reminded me of many of our past meetings.  We have done a lot of approach avoidance stuff. I think it comes out of fear/desire/fear that underlies our every encounter.  I don’t really understand it.  I think it weighs heavier on Joy than on me because I think she lost more than I did in relinquishment.  She was the baby. I think I’ve worked out a lot of what I lost, though it sadly took me an awfully long while, which made it even harder on her. All the ego and personality stuff floats on the top and keeps us pretty busy. But down deep, deep there is a lot of love.